More often than not, I get the impression that people believe the person I am today is someone I’ve always been. Looking at my eleven year old self’s idea of who I would be today its obvious that it isn’t true. While it is slightly depressing I couldn’t imagine how I would one day spend my leisure time, it’s given me hope. It reminds me we don’t have to become the people we think we are or think we will be.
We are the story we tell ourselves. And for a long time, I told myself a very gloomy and unhappy story. I believed I was a lonely, miserable, person who didn’t deserve happiness or the company of other people. It wasn’t until I hit my rock bottom that I began to tell myself a new story: a story of love, happiness, fun, and inclusion. For a long time I thought I wanted my story to end, when in reality I just wanted a new chapter. We have the power to tell ourselves a new story not just every new year but every new day, every new minute, and every new second. Each second is a choice to continue with your story or to make a choice to start a new one.
When I look back on my eleven-year-old self, I wish I could tell her that we are not always the people we tell ourselves, we have the ability to change the stories we tell ourselves, and that all of the things I thought I should do to try to make me happy, might not actually make me happy. Instead, I wish I could help her value being present, appreciating the now, and continuing to create a story that I want tell. I wish I could help her understand that those values will help lead me to the place I need to be. For my 2016 resolutions, I’m going to live by those values I wish I could have given myself 20 years ago and learn to appreciate that I am exactly where I need to be.
